I Suppose An Apology Is What You Need

I suppose an apology is in order;
I must have done you wrong.
I suppose that when you look around you ,
You see that I am the one who doesn’t belong.
I suppose that you think that it is my fault, my doing,
It was me that abandoned your child.
You don’t look in the mirror or to your family;
They way that everyone left her, how it drove her wild?
I suppose that because I loved and that because I gave;
Must be the way I am wrong, I’ll take that to my grave.
I suppose it must have been the hugs, the prayers, the kisses, the fun
That did us in.
I suppose you just wanted her to sit and wait and cry until you began.
Until you began to see that you wanted more, until you chose to heal;
The way you treat me for loving her, in my mind is unreal.
I suppose an apology is what you need because with me she sang a song.
She could have been hurt, abused, or felt like she did not belong.
She and I will take the hit, we will pay the price.
Because to you the love we feel is not wanted, needed or advised.
It seems to me that you need me to apologize.

I love your daughter because she grew in my home.
I love your daughter because our family is where she has roamed.
I love your daughter because she was given to us to love.
I love your daughter even though it hurts to love.

I suppose I should say I am sorry to you, for getting in the way;
I can only hope that you should see that she is better for it one day.
It was not always easy or always fun;
A broken child can drain you, can drain anyone.
Yet I did not leave her, I did not walk away.
I have stayed loving, supporting and providing for her to this very day.
Yet for now I will apologize because that must be what you need.
I am sorry that you have hate for someone who served your family indeed!

Bridges

I feel like I am a divorced woman awaiting for a bridge to be built with my ex for the sake of my child. I am a foster mom. A mom who has been raising a little one for 17 months now, from the time she was 2 and a half to now 4 yrs old! She is to be reunited soon from what they now say. I have to start thinking about helping her to transition into her new home. I am going at this blind and with a heavy heart. I do not have a relationship with the birth mom, this is all new and it will be a "process" so I am told. I do however know this little one and I know she has no idea that she would ever wake up one day and not be mine. I am mommy to her, my husband is daddy and our children make up her family. I know that she is going to be sad if bridges are not built. I will be broken hearted if I am never able to share with her birth mom the stories that I hold dear to my heart in concerns with our little one. I want her to know the kind of oatmeal she likes, I want her to know how much she loves Toby Mac and how she is a worshiper with music. I have so many funny moments, so many personality growths, so much knowledge about this little one to share. What will my little one feel like to have lost the routine of how she was tucked in for the past year and a half? I hope a bridge can be built. We know that the children of parents who are divorced do better if the parents communicate. This mom struggles having a conversation with me. I do not know if the bond her child, our child, has with me is too painful. I do not know if she feels judged, etc. I only know I want a bridge. I need one, my little one needs us to put us away and her first! Please join me in prayers for a bridge to be built!